SO Im reading this awesome book by Molly Wolf called “Angels and Dragons” and its in a word…awesome!!! here is a passage that i think …well it just makes since to me…i get it…I have shared it with a few peeps now and I figured i would just share it with you all!! think about it………leave comments!! ps…if you read any read the bold parts…..
“a man sitting in a chair, focusing on a tray propped across the arms of the chair.The tray held tiles, the inch-square glazed type, and some of the tiles were bright and some were dark and some were in between.
As I watched, he carefully picked out and removed all the very dark tiles and put them on a small table, to his right and behind him, out of sight, and rearranged all the remaining tiles to fill in the gaps. But now, some of the less dark tiles offended him, so he picked them out and put them on the table too, and rearranged the remainder. He went throughthis several times, gradually getting rid of all the shadowy tiles, until all that were left for him to look at were the brightest and most glowing tiles. He would not or could not turn his head and see the table with dark tiles behind him. But I could see it, and as I watched, I could see all those dark tiles starting to fuse and take on a new shape, one that shimmied and wobbled and seemed to be growing into something living. And I felt afraid.
It made sense now. If you can’t afford to have negative thoughts or emotions—if they make you feel too ashamed or too afraid of being punished, or if the threaten to sink you altogether—you put them off to one side and behind you, so that you won’t have to look at them. And you keep doing that until what you can see of yourself looks okay—-until you can feel good about yourself, self-satisfied, or at least less frightened and anxious. Problem is, the stuff that you’ve rejected hasn’t gone away, because its part of you. That pile of darkness behind you turns into a large dragonish being that you can’t see but that looks over your shoulder at the world before you, seeing it through a miasma of bitter unlove, frightening and hurting the people it fronts, and you can’t figure out whats gotten into them–you were just playing around a little, nothing serious, you didn’t mean it the way they took it.
Maybe you suspect there might be something there , something unmanageable and unerving, so you redouble your efforts to focus on the bright tiles on your tray, humming to yourself quite loundly, so as to drown out the noises coming from behind you that you don’t want to listen to. But it’s such hard work…”